


it is within reach

by onibi



Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: F/M, rory gilmore is happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2016-12-01
Packaged: 2018-09-03 13:48:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8716270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onibi/pseuds/onibi
Summary: “Do you feel that?”“Nope.”“Come on. You don’t feel it?”“Cold? Is it the cold? I can feel the cold. You look freezing, by the way.”“Not the cold,” she says, but he’s already pulling off his sweater and handing it to her anyway. “The peace.” post AYITL, rory gilmore finds peace and happiness at home.





	

**Author's Note:**

> "Not I, not any one else can travel that road for you,  
> You must travel it for yourself.
> 
> It is not far, it is within reach,  
> Perhaps you have been on it since you were born and did not know,  
> Perhaps it is every where on water and on land."
> 
> \- Walt Whitman, Song of Myself
> 
>  
> 
> Happiness looks different on different people.

A cool breeze had blanketed the town after sunset, and as cold as she was getting, Rory couldn’t make herself move from the front porch to go and get a blanket. She kept losing herself in the clearness of the night sky, counting the stars, losing count, starting again.

“How long have you been out here? D’you even know what time it is?”

She smiles as he sits next to her. “That’s the best thing. I don’t need to know what time it is. I could stay out here all night, not have to worry about getting up tomorrow. It’s quite the feeling. Freeing. Never felt anything like it.”

“You’re getting up tomorrow,” Jess says, frowning. “The meeting with Em’s teachers?”

She shrugs. “Not ‘til after school.”

“They’re nightmares. You’ll hate them. I hate working with them.”

“You hate working with everyone.”

He leans over and kisses her temple. “Not you.”

It was true – he went over everything she wrote with an enthusiasm he rarely exhibited in front of anyone else, especially his co-workers at the high school. For every sentence he praised, there was one with a carefully thought out suggestion for a change of phrasing or point of punctuation, but it was always just a suggestion. They were always each other’s fans and supporters more than they could ever be critics.

“Do you feel that?”

“Nope.”

“Come on. You don’t feel it?”

“Cold? Is it the cold? I can feel the cold. You look freezing, by the way.”

“Not the cold,” she says, but he’s already pulling off his sweater and handing it to her anyway. “The peace.”

“It’s Stars Hollow. Peace is all its ever known.”

“I know,” she says, and she links her fingers in his, strong and warm. Rests her head on his shoulder.

It’s not all she’s ever known, but it was the first. Being out in the world, living a life that she learned was never meant to be her life, had been a series of calamities. For a long time it felt like she was running into a wall, over and over, waiting for it to break down, when all that was really happening was that she was causing herself a traumatic head injury. It had been a good head injury, though, if you can say that – because it brought her here. A daughter that speaks more than any kid her age should, a house, a home, and love.

So much love. Getting to see her mother and Luke every day, without having to catch a plane and say goodbye way too soon. Lane, who, after all these years, she could still talk to all night about nothing and everything, sharing all the bits and pieces of their lives, judgement free. Paris, who would still storm into town every now and then to yell at Rory for throwing her life away, no matter how many times she explains that a job and money aren’t a life, and that despite her tirades she’s still always happy to see her.

Her guy, her Jess, whose patience and devotion to both her and little Emily were sometimes too much for her to bear. Jess, who was a friend. There through the pregnancy, there when she was born, there afterwards. Always there, even though she hadn’t asked him to stay. There, until she couldn’t stand it. Because he was such a good friend, so the same and so different to the thousands of lifetimes ago that they’d tried and failed to be together. And now, he was there.

“I know it’s selfish,” she had said, “and I know we’ve done all this before. I know. I know it didn’t work out, and god, all the times we kept missing each other – we just kept missing each other, you know? I thought I knew what I wanted. I knew that always I wanted you there, I wanted you to be my friend, I wanted to be yours. But you’re here. Why are you still here?”

And whatever reason he had kept telling her, that had been false, a lie, every time and she knew it – he couldn’t say it. “I’m here for you.”

“Because I need you.”

He had swallowed. Maybe, years ago, she would have tried to stop herself from crying, but she didn’t. She had just let it come.

“Rory, you have never needed me.”

“But I do,” she said, really breaking, “That’s the thing. I wouldn’t have been able to do all this without you and yeah, sometimes things get way more complicated when you’re involved, but not this time. This time I’d be an idiot to not see it. We’d be idiots to not do this. Because maybe I’ve never needed you before, but to be happy? I need you. For that, I need you.”

And for the first time in a long time, it had been easy. Letting him wrap his arms around her and kissing her like they had minutes to live and the explosion of hope and love and happiness in her chest when she realised they had years, years. Forever. It had been so easy to make happiness out of this. Sometimes, it isn’t complicated at all. Sure, explaining that ‘Hey, I reconciled with my high school ex-boyfriend over ten years later and we’re living in my home town with no money and a kid who isn’t his but he loves to death anyway and I’m finally happier than I’ve ever been’ may sound a little crazy to someone else, but she didn’t care if it was crazy.

Her life, as it was meant to be, is made of fractured pieces that made a magnificently messy whole.

“You may not have to get up tomorrow, but I do. I’m also the one feeling the cold.”

“Yeah, well, you didn’t have to give me your sweater.”

He turns his head and smiles into her hair. “Sure I did.”

Eventually he gets up and says goodnight, leaving her sitting outside, staring up at the sky. There is hardly any sound, just the slow wind, the gentle rustling of trees. There really are too many stars to count. It doesn’t matter. She starts again anyway. Just because she can.

**Author's Note:**

> i love rory gilmore.  
> [tumblr](http://o-nibi.tumblr.com)


End file.
